How to Spot a Tourist in New York City
So you are headed to New York to get a piece of the action, a taste
of the hustle and bustle of city life. You want to see all the sights
that have made the City so popular, but you also want to tramp around
town and get an authentic feel for the day to day experience of a real
New Yorker. Wondering how to make the transition from Midwestern
suburb to downtown Manhattan? Take this quiz to see if you are going
to be hopping from borough to borough like a local or stuck with your
over-sized suitcase in the Subway doors.

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You have landed safely at JFK, taken a cab into the City, and
arrived at your hotel. You climb out of the cab wearing:
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A nice outfit, you always like to travel in style.
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A sweatshirt bearing the name of a university in your home state.
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Your trusty fanny pack and an "I ♥ NY" shirt
which you purchased at the airport.
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Once you have your bags out of the trunk of the cab, the first thing you do is:
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Pull some cash out of your wallet to tip the cabbie.
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Make a comment about how dirty the streets are.
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Look up and gawk at the skyscrapers.
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Your friend asks where you are planning to go to dinner tonight:
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You respond, "Eey! Fuggeddaboudit!"
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You opt for a proper reference to "Manhattan" so
there is no confusion about which "City" you are
talking about.
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You reply, "I heard that Houston (said
'heeewson') Street is hip!"

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And what time to meet up for dinner?
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10pm
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8pm
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6pm
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Someone asks you for directions. You:
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You give them directions to their destination
confidently, whether you actually know or not.
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You try to help based on the 5 places you have already been in the city.
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They are only asking you because you have a huge unfolded
map in front of your face.
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Your mobile phone rings when you are walking down the stairs
to the subway. What do you do?
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Decline the call without looking at who was calling.
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Answer while continuing underground shouting "Hello?
Hello? I am in the Subway … in New York! I think I am losing
service!"
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You stop on the stairs to get your phone out and are
subsequently plowed over by the mob behind you.
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You are about to enter a crosswalk and the signal tells you to stop.
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You run across anyway, hurdling a taxi, and making hand
gestures that let people know that they live in your world.
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You wait until there is a break in traffic and move quickly
across the street.
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You stop immediately and wait intently for the
"WALK" sign to change again.
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Someone stops you on the street and asks if you have a cigarette:
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You walk around them without even looking up.
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You tell them that you don't have any.
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You give them one for now and another one for later, just in case.
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One of the streets is blocked off because they are filming an
episode of popular a T.V. show. You:
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Become annoyed and take the quickest alternate route to your destination.
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Stop for long enough to hear someone say which show it is, then move on.
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Cancel your plans for the day and get out your camera because you heard Orlando Bloom was inside.
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You are in the mood for pizza, so you:
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Walk to the closest corner and order yourself a big slice of pie.
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Ask the concierge for a place with lots of fresh veggies.
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Look in the phone book for the closest Domino's.
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You are in Times Square and you see the Naked Cowboy playing his guitar. You:
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Are not in Times Square.
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Laugh and point him out to your friend.
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Stop to take photos with him.
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All "a" answers are worth 3 points,
"b" answers are worth 2 points and
"c" answers are worth 1 point.
Add up your total, and see how you scored.
If you scored 26-33, you are as good as a native,
ready to run around town and throw elbows with the best of 'em.
If you scored 18-25, you may not fit right in, but
you will be able to handle yourself about the city.
If you scored 11-17, embrace your touristic
tendencies and enjoy your trip.